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He was by far the best of the bunch, a kind and generous man, but someone who could also be selfish and unfeeling.We had agreed, early on in our relationship, that we wouldn't have children. Several friends, however, were convinced that our lack of children created a vacuum.It's taken me a good while to fully come to terms with what I've done, to understand how easily I fell into the previously unknown world that I would regrettably come to prefer to the real one.
And for a while at least, it all felt harmless and innocent, and fun. My father leaving didn't help, and for the first six months of my life I was placed with a notional "auntie", a family friend who became my surrogate mother throughout my childhood.And so our long-nurtured virtual affair became real.He was young and beautiful and I couldn't believe that he wanted me.Taking my online affair offline was my big mistake, a transgression too far.
What drew me to the online world was the maintenance of fantasy.Some people can handle guilt well, and can happily juggle more than one life.